When my husband and I bought our first house, its 800 square feet of living space was perfect for two. It was what we could afford, and it suited us. We fought rarely, lived within our means without too much trouble, loved living within easy walking distance of restaurants and parks, went away many weekends, divided up the two closets, and dumped all the extra stuff in the basement.
Then we had a kid.
Daycare bills made us broke, we argued 400% more often, and we spent more time inside. We moved our one living room chair to make way for the baby swing. We moved the desk into our bedroom, with one inch to spare. I invented a complicated system of labels and garbage bags headed to the consignment store, full of out-of-season clothes that were too big or too small, the acres of unwanted things that people give you, and toys that I could not stand to store in my living room. This Christmas, I provoked the familial equivalent of an international incident by limiting the presents that grandparents could send.
Tiny houses such as this mobile Leaf House are ingeniously designed to maximize space, which isn’t always the case with “just smallish” houses. Photo used with permission from Leaf House Small Space Design and Build.
To be clear, my family does not live in a tiny house. People raising children in New York, or in apartments everywhere, will mock me. When our home was built a hundred years ago, it probably would have accommodated a family of seven. But by today’s US standards, it’s small, roughly 1/3 of the size of the average home. And the difference between living in it as a couple and a family of three has been palpable.
More often that not when I see stories about tiny houses, it’s a single person with not much more than a shelf full of books and a teapot. Sometimes it’s a couple with low personal space requirements. But my own situation has made me curious about families who have consciously chosen to live with a much smaller footprint. What happens when the chaos and wonder (and stuff!) that kids introduce explode all over your artfully arranged tiny house?
So I asked Hari Berzins, who writes the Tiny House Family blog and lives with her husband and two children, 8 and nearly 10, in a 168-square-foot home. They downsized, in several steps, from a 1500-square-foot home after losing their family’s restaurant business in the most recent economic recession. It has allowed them to squirrel away her monthly salary to finance a longterm plan to build a larger, mortgage-free home. But they’ve been in this tiny house for almost two years.
The Berzins’ mortgage-free home, which they built themselves, has a footprint of 168 square feet. Photo from Hari Berzins, tinyhousefamily.com, used with permission.
The family’s living space also includes two sleeping lofts and an outdoor deck. Photo from Hari Berzins, tinyhousefamily.com, used with permission.
The family uses a folding table and chairs for dinner, when they share “highs” and “lows” from their day as a connecting ritual. Photo from Hari Berzins, tinyhousefamily.com, used with permission.
She’s often asked what is the hardest thing about living in the tiny house. It’s hard to answer, she says, because the biggest challenges can also turn out to be unexpected blessings. Berzins says that living in a smaller physical space magnifies whatever dynamics and issues already exist in a family. But with no place to hide from the people you live with, it forces more open communication. As she explains:
You’re still whoever you are when you move in. But I think a bigger house gives you the room to leave things and let them pass without having to face them like we do in the tiny house…What we’ve done, and it’s helped a lot, is focusing on communicating rather than expecting. You can’t really run from things. It feels like we’ve been in therapy, but the therapy is our house.
During the process of downsizing, they had many conversations with their kids about what things were most important to them. They had multiple yard sales and let the kids select, price and haggle over the things they wanted to sell. Occasionally, they’d pull things back that they weren’t ready to part with. In the tiny house, they each have a couple of crates for their personal things, and her children will passionately argue that they lack for nothing. For birthdays and holidays, they tend to ask for presents that they can use every day, like pocketknives or binoculars.
What really matters for them is their family and being close and not the things so much. I guess what you would imagine they’re learning is true. I think also there’s an acceptance of themselves and of us as family. They teach me a lot and don’t seem to care what other people think, which is so awesome.
Photo from Hari Berzins, tinyhousefamily.com, used with permission.
Berzins, who lives in rural Virginia, is the first to admit that living in such a small space would be tougher in an urban setting. Her kids will disappear into the woods for hours, and they tend a large garden. They spend a lot of time as a family outdoors, even in winter, when they bundle up and build large fires on their deck. Outdoor entertaining and living space definitely makes tiny living easier, as does having at least one person in your family who can build things (we have none).
Love this article? See even more tiny homes here.
Case in point: Interior designer Jessica Helgerson lives in this immaculate 540-square-foot home on Sauvie Island, just 15 minutes north of Portland with her husband and two children.
Photo by Lincoln Barbour, used with permission from Jessica Helgerson Interior Design.
Photo by Lincoln Barbour, used with permission from Jessica Helgerson Interior Design.
She combined the living, dining, and kitchen spaces into one “great room” that’s open to the roofline, while leaving space for the parents’ sleeping loft. The built-in sofas double as guest beds, with drawers underneath for kids toys. And my favorite feature of all time is the cleverly designed sliding closet in the kids bedroom. (Because photos like these misguidedly lead me to believe that if only I built a sliding closet, my kid’s room would be this clean too! Paradise is always just one new storage solution away!)
Photo by Lincoln Barbour, used with permission from Jessica Helgerson Interior Design.
Debra Jordan, whose family of 3 lives in a mortgage-free 320-square-foot shotgun house, says one key to living small is focusing on all the things that you do have. Because she likes to cook and entertain guests, her tiny kitchen holds four cast iron skillets, two soup pots, two crock pots, two full sets of beautiful china, a juicer, assorted baking pans, and 30 pieces of tupperware to help keep things organized.
The living room in the home Debra Jordan shares with her husband, son, and guests. Photo used with permission from Debra Jordan, www.320squarefoothome.com
She made sure the kitchen cabinet was securely fastened to the wall. Photo used with permission from Debra Jordan, www.320squarefoothome.com
To accommodate overnight guests, she built an ingenious living room sofa bench that folds out into a guest bed. And there’s even a dishwasher hidden underneath.
The sofa folds out to a bed for overnight guests. Photo used by permission from Debra Jordan, www.320squarefoothome.com.
A tiny dishwasher is hidden below. Photo used with permission from Debra Jordan, www.320squarefoothome.com.
So how has downsizing from a 2500-square-foot home affected Jordan’s 13-year-old son? In this video below from www.faircompanies.com, which documents their tiny house renovation that turned his sleeping loft into a full-fledged bedroom, Jordan tells this story:
I remember one of the comments he made after his room was finished. I told him, “Max, you have a cool room now,” and he shook his head and said “No, mom. I had a cool room. I have an upgrade now.” And I felt very proud at that moment. That’s a lesson that you really hope to instill in your child — that of thankfulness and gratefulness.
And at the end of the video, Jordan offers this bit of wisdom about family living in a tiny home:
I don’t know if everybody could make this decision. I highly recommend it. I sleep every night really, really good. We never discuss money. It’s not a topic that comes up. Our life is much more peaceful now. I have learned to cultivate contentment. I’m not thinking about what I want to buy next or how I can increase my earnings. I’m content. I’m very happy and there’s a lot to be said for that.
So when my family had our day of reckoning about whether we would stay put or move, what did we do? We refinanced into a smaller mortgage payment and started counting the days until our four-year-old would be coordinated enough not to fall out of a loft bed. Why?
How can cities better support urban families? Learn more in our Family-Friendly Cities series.
Because like many people who’ve opted to live in smaller spaces, it gives us flexibility to do other things with our time and money. I wish I could say it has redefined our relationship with stuff, but our basement allows for a lot of overflow. I also wish I could say it has entirely rightsized our budget, but we still have that heinous daycare payment.
These toys in our living room have won the war of attrition. Photo by Jennifer Langston
It has, most certainly, made me more organized. On the question of whether to pitch or save kids’ artwork, I am an unapologetic tosser. But I’m also sure it has made me a more engaged parent. The lower overhead has allowed me to work a flexible schedule while our daughter was little. Plus, most of her play happens in the middle of our living room. And when my husband and I do argue, we resolve things pretty fast. It’s no fun to be ten feet away from someone you’re really mad at.
For sure, there are minor inconveniences, like the rented scuba regulator that lived on our dining room table for two weeks because there was no other obvious place to put it. Or the lack of a workspace that’s even remotely ergonomical. But here’s the thing: I still like coming home to our little house. I like my family. I want to see them at the end of the day. It’s nice to have them close, in our familiar tight orbit. And it’s weirdly satisfying to survey most of the things you use on a daily basis just by turning in a circle.
So, for now, we’re going to work with what we have, and aspire to have less. And my daughter will continue to wonder how so many oversized toys could go missing in such a small house.
Matt the Engineer
I’ve wondered about families in small homes as well. I’d think it wouldn’t be that bad in an urban environment – we may not have the woods to wander in but I find with swim classes, full day preschool, and a social life my family is rarely home anyway.
I have a tip for art projects: snap pictures of them. Then you can toss them without guilt, and it doesn’t take up a drop of space (except on your hard drive).
nicole
Both of my daughters have their own rooms. The 13 year old is now to old for toys, so she has her bed, desk, book case and closet with clothes (she only wears about a 1/4 of that clothing and only two pairs of shoes out of the 10 she has) my 7 year old, never ever ever plays in her room and is always outside on her swing set. In fact, I told her recently, that whatever she didn’t play with by the end of September was being donated. So far…. its just about every single toy she owns. We could totally do the tiny house thing.
Erin
Yurt-living family of four here, with kids 4 and 2 years old. So one 450 square foot room for all of us, plus maybe 80 square feet in a detached washhouse. Chaotic at times, but we love it, and also cook, entertain, and have 2 parents working at home. So we’re all 4 here, nearly all the time. But we do live rural, so can take advantage of a huge outdoor space, garden, unheated storage in sheds and under the yurt for tools and bikes and things.
It’s not as bad or hard as you think!
Meghan
I apologize if this is too personal of a question, but I really am curious. If you and your husband don’t have a separate bedroom how do you get “alone time?”
Jennifer Langston
I had never thought about taking pictures of artwork. Brilliant!
Meg Chadsey
I had the same idea a few years ago, and bought a digital photo frame off of Craigslist, so we could still see the artwork after digitizing it. Of course, that was two years ago, and we still haven’t scanned all the art, but it’s getting near the top of my list! (and the photo frame hasn’t been taking up much space in the meantime…..)
MAURICE MASON
dear JENNIFER. as as Artist of 50 plus years i would ok to take a picture,but not to reproduce it in any way ,as an Artist always have a coppy right ,so be carfefull of who you show them to .i know art is for all to see and enjoy but we do have rights.unless you would like to purchase it for a particular pice soory no sale …ARTIST MAURICE MASON.
Chelsea Lloyd
She just means kids art
Shannon Tracey
We live in a 814 sq ft house and the biggest challenge isn’t stuff – it’s sound. As our 20-month-old naps less and stays up later in the years to come, it won’t be as much of an issue, but right now we need to be relatively quiet after 8pm so the munchkin can get a good night’s rest. This is easy with just two of us, but makes it a little difficult to entertain friends past bedtime – it’s not as fun to play noise police when socializing, though the other demands of being a working parent mean this is not a huge deal either (ie, we’re tired at night!).
On the stuff front, though, we also have only two closets and the aesthetics of a 1922 bungalow are not super compatible with floor-to-ceiling wall organizers a la the “my 322 sq ft home” demos at IKEA. Our place was remodeled, not restored, so there are no cute built-in cabinets and it will be some time before we have the free time and money to search for salvage components.
We love our little “cabin” as we call it, and it’s refreshing to hear that other families find that small spaces support the values and communications styles we aspire to. Since homeownership was never a big dream for me, I’m plenty overwhelmed with the maintenance required for our little place as it is, and I have no interest in paying any more for housing than we do now. Every home has its pros and cons and I think there’s an assumption that everyone would like more space if it were affordable…at least for the next several years I would prefer to afford other things even if more money came our way. We’ll see how we feel when we hit teenagerhood!
Jennifer Langston
Have you tried a white noise machine? My 4-year-old still sleeps with one in her room, which opens directly to our living room,and falls asleep to a babbling brook every night. It seems to cut the noise just enough, though sometimes she still comes out and tells us to be quiet. Ours is a Marsona – some of the cheaper baby ones weren’t actually loud enough!
Karin
Or try an air purifier, I find that it creates the same amount of “just enough noise” as a baby noise machine. I’ve even become so use to it that when it’s turned off I don’t like the stale quiet. Our kids sleep great with it, and it keeps the air in our tiny place clean!
Shannon Tracey
Yes, we have a fan in her room that does work pretty well – I can use my coffee grinder in the morning without waking her up (usually). Just reflecting on my Saturday night, where I met up with a couple of girlfriends (whose kids are also close to 2) and ended up at one of their houses laughing loudly in the front living room, far far away from a sleeping baby in the back bedroom. Right before my husband sent me this article I had been thinking about how we probably couldn’t have ended up at our house – of course we could have but just would have needed to be a tad bit quieter – and I really love that she comes out and tells you to be quiet! Not the end of the world. =)
Sussanne Maleki
would love to hear about living in small spaces with teenagers!
holly
if that is all they know, then teenagers will be more fine with it hatn you think, and much more fine with it than plucking one from a few thousand sq ft home to adjusting to that at that age.
Shalyn
I had three teenagers, my hubby, and myself in our 1700 sf home. Like Shannon Tracey said, the biggest issue isn’t space, it’s sound. Our house had an open floor plan so all the public spaces are just that-public. We cannot separately entertain-any guests are everyone’s guests and my sons (the teens still living home) do not invite guests because 1. “our house is too small” and 2. “There is not privacy”. Now, I tend to agree BUT-the boys ea have their own (very small) rooms and I would argue that if we had more enclosed “public” rooms, they wouldn’t be so hesitant. So, we do have enough space, although the storage is terrible. 1700 sf is not small but when the public space is just one big room, the bedrooms are only 10×10, and there is very little enclosed storage, then it FEELS small. I wish a person could live in a house for 3-6 months before deciding to buy in order to gauge if the layout, etc would actually work for them .If I could afford it, I know exactly the things I would do to fix this house up to make it more private with better storage but that is not in our budget and won’t be for a long time.
So, that’s my story with living with teens in a “small”ish house.
Tamara
2 teenagers, 1 mom and a 5 year old in a one bedroom:) I gave the two oldest the bedroom. My little one and I have made the living room our room. It’s not that bad really. I like small spaces, & by choosing to live beneath my means my stress level (finances, housework) is lower.
Chris Newton
Great topic … smaller houses are seriously under-rated.
We are a family of five (2 adults, 2girls and 1 boy) and we lived in 600 sqft for five years … we just finished building our new home and moved out this Christmas. Our old house (jokingly referred to by extended family as Newton’s Nutshell) was actually two old, renovated office trailers placed side by side.
Living in a small space can be challenging but also has its benefits … its very easy to clean! We found it harder as the kids got older (the kids are now 14, 13 and 12) as they all shared a bedroom (10′ x 10′) and privacy became an issue. Also, our 28″x43″ kitchen table which seemed okay five years ago, was getting pretty small to squeeze the family around for meals. We lived in a smaller home because it allowed us to build our current home without a mortgage at a pace that worked for us … it was definitely worth it.
We just moved into our 1700 sqft home and sometimes do not know what to do with all the space …
Beverly Hall
My husband and I live with our 4 kiddios (age 7 months through 5 years old) in a 650 sq. foot, 2 bedroom quadplex. We have a mortgage payment worth of student loans every month and we always tell friends who ask when we’re going to buy that just as soon as we can afford 2 mortgages we’ll get right on that. We love our tiny apartment. Living close has forced our kids to learn cooperation and sharing from the get go. It does take patience and creativity (I equate it to life-sized Jenga), but honestly I don’t think we would have it any other way. But then I grew up in tiny ranch homes with three adults and two siblings, so it wasn’t a big adjustment for me. When we are ready to buy a house, I don’t foresee getting anything much bigger than what we currently live in. The dream isn’t really more space, just the freedom to do with that space whatever we want and maximize the space we have in a way you just aren’t allowed in a rental space!
Beverly Hall
Wow, too much use of the word space. Maybe the dream of ownership should include a thesaurus?
Bunnie
And maybe your dream of ownership would include some manners which, ironically, take up less space than a thesaurus.
Christopher
It appears to me that she was critiquing herself, not anyone else.
Jennifer Langston
I love the “life-sized Jenga” analogy. I know exactly what you mean.
Judy Dailey
My husband and I created a studio apartment (650 sq. ft.) inside our regular-size house last fall to test the idea of living smaller. We love it. We halved our energy costs, spend more quality time together, and still entertain. We live in the city and use the local library, coffee shop, and our urban farm when we need space to spread out. What was planned as a short-term experiment has turned into a great lifestyle.
Adam K. K. Figueira
There’s lots of good ideas here. Thanks!
My wife and I have lived with six daughters in suburban Utah for almost five years. Our home is about 1100 sq. ft. with 3 bedrooms and one bathroom. It’s not as compact as a lot of the homes out there, but we have eight people trying not to step on each other. We struggled with dining/work space for a long time, especially when I was freelancing from home. Now that I teach high school that’s gotten easier.
We had to get rid of a beautiful wooden dining table we were given in favor of a folding plastic one. Recently, we traded that in for two side-by-side breakfast nooks that fill one end of our living space. The bench seating against the walls avoids the clutter of chairs, and having two separate tables provides some much-needed separation when the kids are doing homework, coloring, or doing other indoor activities. We actually have more space with the two nooks than we did with the folding table, and less hassle. Plus the benches open for extra storage.
The only other furniture in the living area is a small futon, two hollow ottomans that we also use for storage, and bookshelves. We have a large shed in the backyard that holds the seasonal stuff.
The other issue we have with a family our size is laundry, and lots of it. We found we couldn’t put both beds and clothing in the bedrooms, since we have limited closet space, and under the beds goes for toys. We’re still working on this issue, but our current solution is to create a laundry room in the small nook off the kitchen with tupperware bins and drawers for the children’s things. When we have company, we hide the easily-moved tupperware in a bedroom, bring out the folding table and chairs, and we have plenty of room, even for family gatherings with more than 20 people.
My wife makes her own laundry soap, using a recipe that has cost us around $10/year. Our kitchen features hanging pots and pans to save cupboard space, and wall-mounted dispensers for popular food items like ramen noodles.
heidi
Thanks for this. We live in a house that has 1400 sq, 3 bedrooms and 1 bath. We have 4 kids and 2 adults. Often people think we should move to have more space, but we want to teach our kids the value of relationships and proper relation to stuff. Plus we cannot afford anything bigger.
It is nice to be able to afford a house:-)
Leavesheal
Love hearing about families in the Tiny House movement.
We’re 6 of us, in 950 sq. ft. Bunk beds, floor-to-ceiling shelves in place of dressers, and the flour barrel has a table cloth over the top, to double as end tables.
Only 7 1/2-foot ceilings, but we make use of it in vertical shelving space.
I agree that the more attractive prospect is the capacity to alter the home to make it work as the home-owner, debt-free, more than adding square footage. Freedom is more valuable than more space and more stuff. Children who have that wisdom ingrained in them will benefit from it down the road.
Mary
Absolutely wonderful article and it is great to read about people who are happy and can manage in small houses with their kids. And I have to say it makes me wonder why I am so much different.
I grew up in small apartment with my parents and for many years I had my own bedroom. As times changed and I got two younger siblings I had to give up on my personal space but don’t seem to remember any problems surrounding the subject. Countryside was always ours to explore and I used to do that a lot on my own or with friends. Later we moved into huge house and I loved that even more. Even though big it was very cosy log cabin type house.
Years have passed and I married and moved to another country. I had son from previous relationship so immediately there was three of us in one bedroom 600sq ft house in suburban area with tiny garden and houses all around us. Moving was not an option as recession hit us hard and we have now no hope for mortgage. still we decided to have a baby…
We tried to adapt and arrange our lives and living so that we can accommodate family of four into 1 bedroom. As this did not work we decided to give up on the whole bedroom idea for parents and bought a sofa-bed for downstairs lounge/kitchen/dining area. That way kids have their own playing area and we have area what we can cool OUR bedroom even if it that only at night time. Everything seemed ok…
My husband works shifts what are in constant change and about once a month does night work for 6 days in row. So that means he needs to get some sleep in the morning. But as kids wake up approx the same time as he arrives home, it is inevitable that any sleep is next to impossible when kiddies start playing, banging on the floor just above our bed. Boys are 8 and 2 years old. I have tried to talk them through it that dad needs his sleep but it does not work more often than it does. Now I feel like we are in breaking point as I just don’t know what to do anymore.
However good or bad the family relationship is or was…everyone needs to have restful sleep and in our case small home just don’t allow for it.
Leslie
Try having your husband sleep in the kids’ room once they are up and he comes home from work (just on those days when he needs to). Then the kids can be in the larger space and he can sleep in a quiet room.
Christopher
That is exactly what I do when I have to go to work at 0400. My youngest still sleeps in our bed from time to time and I find it nearly impossible to get any sembelance of sleep when that happens, so the moment he jumps in our bed, I kiss him goodnight and we trade beds while my poor wife contends with the tossing-turning-no-body-control 5yr old. 🙂 (and I don’t have to wake her up when I go to work.)
Libby Jones
I live in a 700sq ft home with my husband and two kids (ages 7 and 5). I grew up in a small house in a family of 5 and actually feel much more comfortable in a smaller living space. While it does take some creativity to manage the piles of things that simply accrue as a part of life, it does actually create an environment that forces you (or at least, me) to live a little more mindfully, creatively, and with a better sense of humor. I’m glad to have resources out there to share strategies for small house living with a family and to know we’re not the only ones “shoe-boxing it” (as my friend says).
Laura Porter
It’s my dream to own my own property & home. I’m seriously considering converting a portable cabin(700 sq ft) into a livable space for me& my 2 children. I’m paying the same amount of money in rent that I would be paying for a few acres& the cabin monthly & it would be paid for in less than 5 years& I would OWN it. We currently have 3 nice sized bedrooms& a diningroom in addition to the kitchen, livingroom& bathroom… We spend 90% of our time in the living room. The other rooms are truly a waste of space. Not to mention the cooling/ heating costs of the ” wasted” space! I’m anxious to put my plans into action& I enjoyed reading this article… It’s really encouraging to see other family’s doing the same.
Kenyada
Need some help for my kids have a new homes for Christmas
K23
Love all the ideas!! I need advice. My husband and i have three kids 5,2, and 8months. We live in a 2 bedroom mobile home and its a tight fit. I was thinking about making the smallest room a guest or private room, and making the living room the kids bedroom.our electric bill wont get out of range with the bedroom blocked off. But wont cps say something or disagree?
Jimmie
I am curious. Why would you convert a bedroom already in great need into a guest room or private room? I would possibly purchase single beds and use them as daybeds.. When you need it pull the xtras and guest room.. wala. I guess I would maintain bedrooms asmap. those are important.
Christin
I’m gonna guess that your interest in living in a space smaller than your current one has to do with trying to reduce the costs of heating and cooling rather than trying to utilize space more efficiently.(I think Jimmie might have concentrated on how you should set up your guest area for efficiency because you called the current arrangement a “tight fit”.) Sorry if I guessed wrong, or if you live in Canada (because in order to attempt to answer your question about CPS, I used U.S. resources)…
Reducing your heated living space by blocking off a room will likely help reduce your heating costs, especially if you combine it with other energy saving efforts, like heavy curtains over windows/doors, and draft stoppers. When I did this in my home, I found that it reduced our energy costs, but not nearly as much as I would have liked, because most of our energy actually goes towards lighting and appliances.
I can’t imagine CPS caring whether or not your children have a bedroom separated from the main living area… rather that they have beds, are able to get adequate sleep, and have a safe area in which to play. I cannot think how it could be construed as any kind of neglect or how it would be any different from a whole family who shares a single bedroom or from three siblings sharing a single bedroom. If you’re still concerned, you can check out the Child Welfare guide to neglect… https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/usermanuals/neglect/chaptertwo.cfm
In some states, there are occupancy limits and square footage requirements for the bedrooms of the children in a foster home (and a rule that says a child older than infancy can’t sleep in the same bed as a parent), but I don’t think these limitations were ever meant to apply to natural parents. If they are meant to apply, I can guarantee that most parents aren’t aware of them. If parents were aware, they would be up in arms about a family’s freedom to allow a 3 year old to sleep in a parent’s bed after a nightmare.
http://family-law.lawyers.com/children/the-legal-rights-and-responsibilities-of-a-parent.html … for information concerning parental rights and responsibilities.
I’m not sure your question about CPS could be explored further, without first knowing within which state you reside and examining that state’s laws about parental responsibilities to provide shelter.
Good luck! (Post back if you find out I’m completely mistaken on the legality, I have no particular expertise… and I might find myself in a similar situation in a few years.)
Jimmie
I am so glad to have read this article and all the comments. I have be in a roommate situation with my 8 yo. We all 3 have our own bdrms etc. BUT the time has come to move along. I bought a tiny cottage 5 yrs ago its just over 430 sq ft. I never moved into it for a few reasons. This summer I tried to rent etc. Budget wouldn’t allow. I made up my mind to rehab the cottage and was feeling guilty over down sizing my 8yo. The thing is everything you have mention is reality and a good one. The cheaper cost of space, less “stuff” to manage etc are all a plus. I am hoping downsizing we will be able to partake in more out of the home activities we have put off…trips, etc. Thank you everyone.
ally
I spent my childhood in a village in Europe, together with my grandparents in one room which was a living room, a bedroom, and a study at the same time.
That multifunctional room was about 160 sq feet. There were two beds, one (my grandparents’) next to a wall, and the other (mine) next to the opposite wall. By the window, there was a small table with a chair where I did my homework. At the right hand side of the table, there was a wardrobe and the TV.
The home wasn’t really tiny. There was also a small dining room which accomodated a table for four, a small kitchen and a bedroom. The reason we spent our time in the multifunctional living room was because we couldn’t afford to heat the entire house. Heating was done with firewood.
We had (the grandparents are no longer alive) a great relationship and cared very much about each other. As a child, I found it totally normal to live the way I lived. Children adapt perfectly to the environment where they grow, but it can be a different story when, in a modern society, they have to downgrade. However, some children are very respectful and grateful to their parents for whatever these can offer them, which is impressive and admirable.
In my opinion, living within one’s means is always preferable to borrowing from the bank. Hapiness and peace of mind are strongly related to freedom.
Living in the countryside, I had the opportunity of having quite a big yard which was great because I could also play, read, and study in the yard when the weather was fine. I didn’t have toys (so, no need for a lot of storage in our home), I used to play outside with our animals and with the neighbors’ children and, to me, that was great.
My dear grandparents were very respectful of my studying. They usually would leave the room, without my noticing it, and would go into the kitchen or outside in order to leave me alone.
Such wonderful people. It is definitely possible to leave with less if you respect each other. One very important thing is not to relate to what other people have, but to achieve what you can by remaining a free person.
Stephanie Thompson
We are a family of 7 living in a tiny house. We are living in a 16×40 lofted barn/cabin. We make it…. we make it work…. we have downsized. when I say downsized I mean we all had to downsize. It has it’s struggles but not more than in our larger home that we were in. Our tiny house has helped us become closer. I wish you all with children good luck. If you family wants it.. then you can achieve it. you can check out our story at http://journeyof2oldsouls.blogspot.com/
Lisa Brown
Very helpful post & comments as well. We’re a family of 4 (kids ages 3 & 6), and are working on adding a baby to the mix. Our house is small at 1092 sq ft, 3br, 1ba. We’re currently trying to sell and upgrade, but this post makes me feel pretty confident that we don’t NEED a bigger house as much as I thought.
kmm
Any tips on how to handle sleep deprivation due to small spaces? I sleep 3-4 hours weeknights, more on weekends when I medicate myself. I am a very light sleeper. My husband snores and is up to use the bathroom at least once per night (and he refuses to do anything about the snoring). If my kids are up and moving around, I wake up to that too. I’ve tried a white noise machine to no effect. I can’t use earplugs because I need to be up the earliest for work, and I am afraid I won’t hear the alarm. I’m going nuts. I want more space just so I can find a dark, quiet space to hole up in at night.
Colleen
Your sleep is very important. I don’t know how much caffeine you consume in a day but cutting out all coffee, iced tea and chocolate hugely improved my sleep. Having a period of strenuous exercise early in the day helps. I suggest talking with a sleep specialist.
Melanie
I guess I am another outsider on the happy family in a tiny house. I moved into my husbands house with my son from a previous marriage and he has a son too. We added a baby to that mix so we are a family of 5 in an 1100 square foot row house (basement living room and bathroom, main level kitchen and dining, 2nd floor two tiny bedrooms, then attic). The two boys share the attic, but my stepson doesn’t like it and I know any day he will say he doesn’t want to come here anymore because he has his own room at his moms. The baby is in a room so tiny I don’t see how we will fit a twin bed in there one day. The worst part are the stairs. If you have ever been to the Anne Frank house in Amsterdam… They are like those. Completely unsafe for a toddler to go up and down, so I will be carrying the baby for several years.
It doesn’t help that I grew up with a hoarder, and stuff piled up all around is driving me insane. I gave away or sold most of what I owned when I moved in. I’m in the process of getting rid of basically anything I don’t use every single day (I.e. A few changes of clothes and a couple of pairs of shoes and my laptop). But even then there is still too much stuff and I’m the only one who is bothered by it.
Good for all of you in this situation who like it, but this is horrible to me.
Jennifer
We have a family of 5, I have 2 sons and a daughter. What would be a good size tiny home for us to be able to get 3 bedrooms in? would like to be under 800 sq feet and would like to build it for under 80k, not sure if that is possible. Really want to simplify our lifestyles and stay eco friendly.
Nicki
We have 4 kids, and I’m dreaming and drooling over the idea of a smaller house, preferably one we build ourselves. My two sons are already giants though, taller than me, and are only 14 and 12. So really, it’s like 4 adults and 2 kids. The three boys are NOT excited about sharing a room- they deal with it fine at the cabin for 2 nights but really crave their own space- although it doesn’t have to be big space. Our daughter, of course, needs her own room, again, doesn’t need to be big. I’m more interested in a quality living area as well as maybe a bonus room, somewhere for them to go to hang out with friends etc. I love them, but in a tiny space if there are already six of us and 2 of them have friends over (we are in a suburb, will stay in suburb and they are well rooted here with friends all over the place). I guess it’s about finding the right floor plan. I’m thinking that 200-1300 sq ft will work for us at this time. The two other kids are 11 and 9, so we still have some years ahead and the growth issue will continue for awhile. I’d also like to be able to have a decent make out session with the hubs and not have the entire house hear it. haha. But now is the time to dream and figure it out! THanks for the website, and I am really in love with Jessica’s kitchen/living/dining area. Thanks for sharing
Susie
It’s been so interesting to read about that kind of experience! I’m considering such downgrading for my family, with two kids and a dog, but haven’t made up my mind yet. Thank you so much for sharing this!
Kyle Brunel
We live in a 1200 SF apartment in the city that is about 110 years old with an 11 year old and a 5 year old (and formerly 2 dogs). It has three bedrooms and one split bath and 10 foot ceilings throughout. We’ve been here 10 years and have no intention of leaving. We have a 20′ x 25′ garden in the back and we have a tiny outdoor deck that suites 4 snugly. Occasionally I work from home and the 3′ x 2′ desk built in the back of the laundry room with a view to the garden is adequate for short stints of work. Built in seating with storage underneath, loft beds for the kids with their desks and shelving underneath, and storage under the master bedroom has been really helpful for us. Both couches fold out to serve as guest beds and function well for the kids sleep overs. We have also built a number of open and closed shelving solutions throughout the house that have evolved over the years. Our walls are the original plaster and lath, which has superior acoustic quality over today’s construction methods that use drywall and studs. The two things we are working on to help our family thrive in the years to come are an added bathroom, and the creation of a great room which will combine the dining room, living room and kitchen into a single space. (Strategies to help with acoustic transmission in the newer homes include placing sound insulation between the studs and adding layers of additional drywall to the wall on both sides.) We have found our space delightful for enabling a closer family experience and really its the additional function that we desire from our environment, not additional space, that is driving the future renovation.
Lori
Although I keep holiday gift treasures, I dispay their school artwork for a brief time, then date and take pictures of it. Next is (discreet) disposal :-). We are 3 kids, 2 adults, and 800 square feet here. I console my guilt with the thought that discretion is the better part of valor. Or so I’ve heard haa.
Downtown Dad
Raising children in small homes works as long as there’s sufficient child oriented amenities like playgrounds nearby serve in place of private backyards. One neighborhood full of families raising children in smaller homes is downtown Seattle.
http://www.downtownseattleparents.com/
Katt
Fantastic in this age of waste you are a model for us all
Christa Grover
Raising kids in small spaces is perfectly fine as long as there is big love and happiness in your home.
Ann
I think that doing with less is a good idea, but I could not give up a nice wooden table for a folding one. I love my family’s antiques. Would not give them up. My life must include nice things just fewer things. Taking photos of art projects is an ingenious idea, but it is not the same as the art itself. I am a musician and I play the piano. I could see my books, music and piano taking up great space. I also feel that children need to be taught to play musical instruments and read real books, not through some e-reader that uses fake light. While I applaud those who make the move to tiny house living, I would have problems limiting myself much less others. It is not practical or fair.